Two Year Olds

"Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for."

- Jerry Seinfeld

Kids

"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex."

- Bill Maher

The Name Rings a Bell

A safe in a Wendy's Restaurant in Manchester, NH was picked and all the money stolen. The Union Leader said that the perpetrator was an employee with a longstanding beef with the company -- Ronald McDonald.

- Submitted by Andrea Marden, Reader's Digest

Crime Fighting for Beginners

You know a fashion trend is over when your grandmother starts getting into it. At least that's the thinking in England, where a bunch of grannies are donning hooded sweatshirts and baseball caps -- the favorite uniform of gang members -- in an effort to discourage crime. Said one senior to The Daily Telegraph, once old people start wearing these clothes, "they lose all their street cred."

- Submitted by Michael Allen, Reader's Digest

Making Lemonade

Ron White's philosophy on life is simple. "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade," he says. "And try to find somebody whose life gives them vodka, and have a party."

- Reader's Digest

Ashes

"I know how hard it is to summon optimism when your brain has devolved into full scorched-earth mode. But trust me: Ashes make excellent fertilizer, and a much better life is waiting to sprout from the char."

- Jim Thornton, "Worked Over", Men's Health, March 2005

Man's First Duty

...a man's first duty is to his own conscience and honor; the party and country come second to that, and never first.

- Mark Twain, a Biography

The Dilemma

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your feelings is to risk rejection.
To place your dreams before the crowd
is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming
odds is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing, does nothing,
has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but
he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who dares to risk is free.

- Author Unknown

That Man is a Success

That Man is a Success

who has lived well,
laughed often and loved much;

who has gained the respect
of intelligent men
and the love of children;

who has filled his niche
and accomplished his task;

who leaves the world better
than he found it,
whether by an improved poppy,
a perfect poem
or a rescued soul;

who has never lacked appreciation
of earth’s beauty
or failed to express it;

who looked for the best in others
and gave the best he had.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

Patriotism

"My definition of patriotism is to defend your country with the truth, no matter the consequences."

- John Kerry, Esquire, January 2006

My Life

"This has been my life forever, so it's not odd to me."

- Alyssa Milano, Esquire, January 2006

Normal?

"Just because something doesn't fit into a normal mold doesn't mean that it's abnormal."

- Alyssa Milano, Esquire, January 2006

Apathy

"The apathy in America is probably even scarier that the administration."

- Alyssa Milano, Equire, January 2006

Other People

"The only way to learn about yourself is through other people."

- Alyssa Milano, Esquire, Janaury 2006

What Are You Good At?

"A big part of life is realizing what you are good at."

- Alyssa Milano, Esquire, January 2006

Passengers

"Maybe this is a little too thoughtful , but we're all just passengers in a way."

- Neil Young, Esquire, January 2006

Courage

"Courage is a mindless thing. People say, 'Wow! How could you do that?' And you say, 'How could you not do that?'"

- Neil Young, Esquire, January 2006

The Weight

"Your grandfather's coffin is heavier than you expect. Your father's coffin is heavier than you can bear."

- Todd Lowe, Hong Kong, Esquire, January 2006

Not Any Less

"Always approach the intimidatingly attractive woman. If you get turned down, who cares? You are not having any less sex with her.

- Jon Legg, Normal, IL, Esquire, January 2006

Keeping Your Mouth Shut

"Never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut."

- Ryan Lamagna, Chesapeake, VA, Esquire, January 2006

A Free Person

No drives, no compulsions
No needs, no attractions;
Then your affairs are under control.
You are a free person.

- Chuang Tzu, Taoist sage

Pleasure and Bliss

There is pleasure.
There is bliss.
Forgo the first to possess the second.

- Buddha

Hallowed Acts

Any natural act, if hallowed, leads to God.

- Jewish teaching

Silence of the Heart

It is in the silence of the heart that God speaks.

- Mother Teresa

Never Confuse a Memo With Reality

15. Don’t promise what you can’t deliver.
18. Never miss deadlines. Ever.
35. As Henry Ford II said, “Never complain, never explain.” Be courageous in your business perspectives.
50. If you’re going to complain about something, have a solution in mind and make clear what you want.
57. Develop a high tolerance for ambiguity – you’ll be more satisfied.
67. Understand the skills and abilities that differentiate you from everyone else. Whenever you have the opportunity, use them.
70. Long hours don’t mean anything – results count, not effort.

-Richard A. Moran

What We Choose to Do

“What happens to us in life is not nearly as important as what we choose to do with those events and experiences.”

- Dr. Harold D. Jester from “Pulling Together”

Trust

“We trust you until you prove us wrong.”

- Richter House of St. John's

Knowledge

“Knowledge is what makes you happy in the event of a disaster.”

- Avery Brooks

Helping Them

“Helping them is more important than how we feel.”

-- Dr. Greene to Carter, who was despondent about how a case ended, ER

The Way Life Is

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes a difference.”

- Virginia Satir

Wrong to Right

"Don't come telling anybody they're wrong until you can tell them how they can be right."

-- Jerry Lewis, Equire, January 2006

New Religion

"Humanity is the religion now."

- from an unidenitified Pakistani man affected by the 2005 earthquake, reacting gratefully to aid by a corp of international volunteers (Operation Heartbeat, Reader's Digest, March 2006)

Heaven & Hell

“The mind is its own place
and in itself
can make a heaven of hell,
a hell of heaven.”

-John Milton

Be Kind

"If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway."

--Mother Theresa

Today

"As Grandpa Scarpacci used to say, 'Gaze fondly upon today, because tomorrow will certainly be worse.'"

- Antonio Scarpacci, Wings

The Anchor

From an epsiode on teenage girls out of control:

- the teenage years are a period of extreme feelings
- parent must be an anchor, solid, "the adult"
- acting out is attention seeking
- teenager must develop a respect for self

- "She's Out of Control," Sally Jesse Raphael, 4/11/1995

Regret

"Regret for the past is a waste of spirit."

- NYPD Blue, 4/11/1995

The Elvis Tax

- 100% tax on incredibly stupid purchases, i.e., gold plated faucets

- Bill Moyer, Politcally Incorrect

The Little Boy

"They say that there is a little boy in him."

"Yeah, and if they remove it, he will die."

- Chandler, Friends

Perception

"Perception is a mirror and what I look on is my state of mind reflected outward."

- "A Course in Miracles"

Compassion Fatigue

" - the idea that it isn't so much lack of money but more like a feeling of exhaustion people get from reading about so many problems and not seeing anything getting better."

- Jonathon Kozol, "Amazing Grace," p. 209.

God's Spies

"I meant to tell you, sir. In your next book I would like it if you said something about the manners of our children. They are God's spies on earth, His specialized creations, but their manners need to be corrected."

"I call them spies because they are so vigilant and so observant. They measure us constantly. They try to find out what the hell we think of them...."

"Mostly, they specialize in making us give them more attention."

- Juan Bautista Castro to Jonathon Kozol, "Amazing Grace", p. 76.

Life

"You have to remember, that for this little boy whom you have met, his life is just as important, to him, as your life is to you. No matter how insufficient or shabby it may seem to some, it is the only one he has."

- A priest to Jonathon Kozol, "Amazing Grace," p. 70, 1995 by J. Kozol

Akani'Son

"What is....is."

"What use does one have for a word such as 'sorry'?"

"Once the situation has presented itself, it is the situation which must be addressed - not the circumstance under which it was arrived at."

- Blaquesmith, Marvel Comics, Akani'Son #1

Feeling Life

"I understand now that the vulnerability I've always felt is the greatest strength a person can have. You can't experience life without feeling life. What I've learned is that being vulnerable to somebody you love is not a weakness, it is a strength. Sadness, joy, love, wonder - all feelings - come from a place of grounded strength that comes from trust in yourself."

"We spend so much time trying to control our feelings out of fear that something may happen, that somebody may not love us, or walk away or die. It's only when you stop living in that fear of what other people might do to you or how they will react, only then are your free to be alive."

- Elisabeth Shue, Parade Magazine, 11/23/1997